📝 Feb 2025

Tired, but I finally got my ass outside to run some errands after dinner. Just got a small bottle of the Loreal hair serum that sis suggested but I guessed I messed up the way of applying. Anyway sleepy, I would try to improve tomorrow. I realized those FM radios like 988 can be played while screen is off. Damn! I wish I got my own radio broadcast that broadcast my playlist. This raised my motivation to write my own radio ish. For some reason dad didn't ask me where I was going. Today dad jokingly said I should mingle with LGBT people therefore I could find a partner...

I am sick of knots forming on the end of my hair strand esp on hair at my back side even if they are shorter a lot vs my front hair bangs.

Really late coming home today no touched laptop for a night was quite rare for me.

Finally with a little help from sis, I could find out what was that song that had been bugging me inside my head for quite some time. Apparently it was a song that she sung for quite a bit in the past. She had been caught culprit and here I declared not guilty. As that was a good song to have such lasting impression on a subsconcious level.

I spent my day resting up after 6 days of work. Phew. I just wanna laze around.

Uhh my faux navel piercing still stuck at port Kuala Lumpur.

I edited an mp3 for a possible ringtone.

Damn I stepped on dog shit today in the dark when I was getting into my car that was parked at the corner of the street of nenek's house.

Awww today I accidentally left my laptop at Ace. After all, it had been quite busily chaotic when my pallet came out and I had to transfer the pallet over, moved my lorry around in the midst of heavy rain. Thanks to Uncle Siva letting me know when he took notice and helped keeping it for me until later I got Uncle Ken to help fetch it home at BMC then I collected it later at night. Sis seems busy these coming days zzz couldn't watch YT together.

Another day of dad's cooking. While today I was asked to sniff the expired tofu to see if it is still edible, which pretty much still good. Just it didn't have the concentrated aroma of fresh tofu. My conditioner had been running low. While queueing at Econsave Smenyih's receiving, I went inside and decided to grab a conditioner. What's unexpected was how ridiculously cheap it was at RM 10.20. I forgot how much was at Watson if I had to guess probably around RM 15. I am going to further investigate their pricing. I got a Dove Ultra Care hair fall rescue conditioner (green) this time around. Now that I know it is cheap, I won't hesitate to squeeze a little harder. The scent from this one is a lot different from my last Dove conditioner. Why words just lacking to describe scent... Like for eg. to describe using adjective seen from sight, we have size, color, shape, whatever, but adj for scent? Hair does feel softer compared to my last Dove Micellar  Pink Salt conditioner (pink).

Just saw ToF got a new web event upon transferring its Publisher back to its original Studio. I was moved to Tofing once again.

Dad cooked red Bayam and leftover sweet potato leaves today as dinner. Hmm not very tasty as expected. And still got sand despite he claimed to have washed clean and he didn't get sand on his fillings.

Heavy rain when reached home until I didn't take my bag that had my laptop down from lorry. After dinner still got drizzle everywhere so I continued to leave my bag alone there. No laptop for a night.

First day of school open. And met with people accident at the bottleneck towards Mid Valley making the usual already heavy traffic on 2 lanes becoming 1 lane causing ultra jam today. Haizz. Then witnessed the car or who knows a few cars behind me kissing head to butt, or else why else one of them opened their door and walked out when the traffic was steadily slowly moving?

Dad fried small onion and then cooked "nai bak" and sweet potato leaves with those leftover oil and new palm oil. Turned out both dish kinda yuck. I meant not because of the oil used, just his cooking were quite subpar.

My red bean sago also failed. I made a mistake by dumping all sago in one shot. And then all of them gone after cooking and the final product was very sticky maybe cause of the sago thickening effect when cold.

Haizz the NCS self collection point had closed when I arrived at 11:43 AM despite at Google Map showing it opens until 12PM today.

I never knew the rod at toll booth can mal functionally dropped after I touched n go. Bang slammed on my lorry as I drove past. Luckily no damage to the windscreen just my back mirror need adjustment. The officer just let me go knowing it was its mal function not me skipping toll.

I realized today dad was the real 小气鬼 despite he claimed many times mum was one and how it rubs off on me. At a peak hour heavy traffic and rainy days, he asked me to drop him off at Batu 11 RHB in which was not along the way home, I refused, already in a mildly annoyed state, added I wasn't a "Yes Machine". Then he added that after he loved and helped me for so much, this was what he gets not even a little bit of help. I replied, isn't that called unconditional love of a parent to kids not expecting anything in return. He began to upset. Along the way, he mentioned how shameful he was in front of others, claiming how he got a non-listening son and also at the same time skirt-wearing son. I added "Think whatever you want." while thinking to myself now I was real pissed so I am now a "pride boast show off tool" for you. When at home parking the lorry as I was the one driving, dad did some fvcking childish nonsense by opening my door from outside to get his house key that he had attached together with lorry key (after he went down and lifted the pallets off the parking space) while I was still moving and maneuvering the lorry into the space. I was Wtf! I yelled at him saying "What are you doing that's very dangerous!" Startled he insisted on his pursuit for the key and then slammed the door in return. I continued parking. Then again another petty moves. It was already raining. Me packing up all my stuff into my bag in lorry and also taking dad's stuff that he had left, walked towards my house gate. Wtf! It had been locked. I had to deliberately took out my house key to unlock and got more wet than it needed to be. What hell of petty moves. After shower, while he eating his so-called delicious broccoli that he had bought like a week before that all of them were his, and I was not allowed to eat them, I apologized for raising my voice when he forced open the lorry door but that's all for what I was apologizing for. I didn't mention how petty he was nor do I cared about those broccoli. At that time, looked like he was passively mad with me saying he dun have a son. After apologizing, I without caring what remarks he said, I got to my room and rested while hungry wanting to fall asleep. Then out of nowhere he came in with a plate of you guess it... broccoli, shoved it to me. I, still in my skirt, got up and gave him a big hug, tears sticking to my eyes, while he whether acting or not, clueless of all why a hug been given. I told him "You need a hug."

There was an idea from dad that was bugging me. Not today's issue. About how he was proud to have made me exist into the world, like how everything is normal that was what people are meant to do. I, from an "anti-natalist" point of view found that it is very wrong or often selfish to bring a child into existence. Parents bring a child to the world as a coping mechanism of how unfulfilled life without a kid was and what would happen to their old age, expecting their children to take care of them, expressing how the child owe them for bringing them to existence when they never asked for. My analogy today was you are sitting at a kopitiam. Then the char kuey teow vendor came to you and shove to you here's your char kuey teow take it. Of course you would be frustrated of being shoved a char kuey teow when you never ordered it in the first place. Then that was what parents shove to their kids, here's life, take it. I dun think I can say "Thank you for bring me into existence." Honestly, if everyone being 100%, how many can agree with this statement. I had read that the biggest wrong a parent can do to a kid is to bring them into existence. Why do we say "Rest in peace" at funeral? Cuz by being non-existent or dead, that is the true peace. By being born means by disrupting the true peace. Maybe we can see death in another way, that is the achievement of true peace. If the best thing is to not exist, now the question is, for we who already exist not from our choice, how do we pursue the next best, how do we do at old age? I am still searching for an answer as of now.

Uhh tired today went home, did some paperwork until 8:30 PM, ate Fu Yong Dan Fan at Yoke Wan for RM10 and then gave in to slumber not long after.

Today a random girl working at Biib above Vital Chiropractor in PJ really made my day by giving complements to my nails, asking if I did it myself. I answered that my cousin did it for me. Then she asked if I was the one requested for it or just my cousin needed to practice on someone. Reluctantly I chose the first. She was in no way against guy having nail polish claiming the most important thing was to be happy. I too encouraged her to do her own suggesting it wasn't expensive to DIY. Then a colleague (guy) next to her jokingly exclaimed that he would paint his too. Holy cow!

I got an unexpected mosquito farm in my house. Lucky I had placed a pail fitted to my water filled bucket in my room. Now that some of the larvae has emerged into pesky mosquito, I can enjoy butchering them all. How? For those that sticked near the edge in between my pail and bucket, I squuezed them hard against the walls. But that wasn't the best part. I closed my door. My electric fly squatter ready. As soon as I lifted my pail, I immediately placed my weapon flat on top of the bucket, zapping everything. That was some insanely good feeling. Until I could smell burnt smell coming from them. There were still lots of larvae in there and my fun to come could be seen.

Updated 9th a bit. Gonna cut shit load of mango today that dad bought a few days ago. Wait still got an older not sweet dragon fruit that he had bought from NSK. I ended up procrastinating for one more day.

First time wearing bobby pins with cross. Its effect was quite satisfactorily good as it shapes the face without too dramatic angular drop again without needing too much effort too. Way to go I increase my arsenal of hair mending knowledge for now awkward hair length as bangs.

Also, updated 8th Feb a little.

Dad lied to me about him eating outside before coming home. He ended up eating Gardenia's instant noodle (like Maggi) at home, claiming he U turned.

Another unbearably hot day today. Burning torrid scorching hot so to speak. Hung a satin polyester pillowcase at 1PM, then fully dried out by 4PM. It has less moisture in the first place anyway. Then I brought Axia to have frontal car plate fixed before going to Nenek's house while bringing over leftover non-opened CNY foodies there particularly got a Kr brand luncheon meat that my boss got from there. Hopefully aunt Ying could pan fried it for everyone. I also bringing along my ukulele as a fun "Shen si hang" past time. Feel awkward always me borrowing piano.

Hoho looks like Teng shown an interest in my ukulele. Hao and Kai basically no, but surprisingly all of them even aunt Ying recognize Hawaii guitar or ukulele in its CN pronunciation whereas me never heard of it before buying one. I lent it to Teng to play before I left for home alas. Hopefully she could make good use of it more than me. I would still come over to play from time to time. While she lent me her old unopened bobby pins and taught me to wear them as cross when I mentioned they were shorter than mine. How could I never thought of this.

I learnt to play London Bridge is Falling Down at piano and practised Auld Lang Syne today. The latter really was a great music I planned to further improve my mastery over it.

At night had fun video calling sis. Very random topic yet feeling refreshing weirdly.

I was flustered today from a Malay lady actually praised my nails when she saw them when I was checking documents in front of her XD.

Weirdly today both the restaurants behind 99 and Yoke Wan all got surprisingly teeming with people, but the Shen Gong Dong one nearly empty. I by myself chose behind 99 one and waited quite long today. At home I was tired and went to sleep shortly after.

I found a dead spider at my soap bar area. Perhaps it was the little spider that I had seen and left alone in my room not too long ago. But why did it end up finding my soap bar in toilet and dying there? Did it goes too hungry and ended up munching on my soap bar...

Finally I tweezed off the remaining right leg today. Now my legs have become smoochie cootie patootie pie after all the pain.

I was very surprised at ChatGPT ability to answer such narrow niche. I asked what is the coefficient of friction (cof) for satin 100% polyester. It did come out with an answer and further surprised me by adding there were a static cof and another kinetic cof. Where did it obtain this data?

Somehow today I was motivated to make my legs smooth. I tweezed all of my left leg from knee down. Took me about 2 hours where the hardest part was at the back of my left leg near ankle where my right-handed me found it was very hard to reach that area. I could have waxed that area but I preferred not to damage my skin from waxing. Also I used a fire-scorched needle to remove 3 ingrown hairs that I found along the way on my left leg. Hopefully none on my right leg. Planning to tweeze my remaining leg tomorrow.

Also, looking at the needle, and also the box I took it from, I finally got my ass to sew up a pair of shorts that I been putting off ever since the thread at zip line area broke down while at Fraser Hill. Luckily that time I got spare shorts prepared. This marked my 2nd time sewing up stuff. Being a femboi has forced me to do sewing repair on my own. I dun really like the term sissy boi. Femboi sounds much better no?

Today was the 1st day going work too after about a week of cny. Though I went in the evening. Morning was spent heading to clinic to get "medically" examined by a doctor before proceeding to do GDL driving license renewal.

Updated Nom Nom > Aunt Ying's Savor to include our CNY 2nd day dinner.

I continued changing bed sheet and cleaning right after getting up. Vacuuming and mopping. I wondered what was wrong with my vacuum as it hardly sucked up any dirt or hair yet its sound was as loud as new. I remembered I had it cleared not too long ago.

For what unexpected the pipe underneath the kitchen sink showed sign of leakage apparently it was inside the wall upon inspection from dad, sigh. Two days ago it was our floating ball in the water tank on top of Aunt Kuan’s house requiring fixing, now another piping problem.

At night I folded dad’s scattered cloths and changed his blanket, which was easier than a bedsheet. The bedsheet had to be next in line to go into laundry soon.

Also, I tried setting up 2 laundry baskets in sis’s room. I wondered if this could work. One for work clothes that are frequently worn and i don't mind it getting a little messy. The other for bedsheet related like blanket, pillow case, hugging pillow case that I planned for more frequent changing for better hygience and habit though best to be done on Sat or Sun if I be at home and had 2 sets that could be used interchangeably. Pillowcase would be easier to be washed on weekdays as it is smaller in comparison thus can be slipped into other laundry.

I lazed for a day finishing a 12-episode anime in one go. Then in the evening, reluctantly lazily started decluttering and cleaning. Till night it went and dad ended up taking away fried rice for me at over 10 'o clock. I hardly felt hungry in the day perhaps because of a really large portion of wantan mee followed by a somewhat large portion of mee hoon as lunch, nope it had become a tea time snack.

So I got scolded again from me simply mentioning those empty boxes in front of fridge. I responded by asking "Why did you raise your voice?" Looks like this was a very useful way to handle this type of hot-headed bastard. Or "Why did you get angry?" I must remain my calm despite being upset from being scolded. Previously he would often come up with bs excuses most prominently "People made me angry I could not take it anymore so I had no choice but to get angry." I don't agree with this. I see that if one was being angry, it is one's choice to be angry. Easier said than done, I am being the one to do it first. I can't change others so I gotta monitor myself. Idk if I am killing my emotion or would it lead to happier outcome in the long run?

I learnt that my own Lunar birthday was on 24th of the 12th month while on Gregorian dated as 1 Feb 1997. And relearnt that sis's was on 4th of 1st lunar month. I vaguely remember she mentioned it before.

At night after dinner, I experimented with quite some stuffs.

1. I tested out the tool that mum used to pop pimple on my face. I washed it with soap before using. Nah the face got red very fast while not many popped. Maybe my technique was not good or just the tool was too sharp. I still prefer finger nail cinch over tissue the best.

2. I tested out sis's wide tooth comb after clearing its residue. Both when hair was wet and dry. I was surprised to find no tangling at all unlike my usual comb even if got funny spongy feeling.

3. I tried out mum's natural color B3 skin powder foundation. I found it was useful to hide dark pimple mark and panda eyes below eyes to some extent. Looks like this could come in handy when going travelling with people prone to taking photos. Then I applied a sheer lipstick by having it focused in the middle region, wiped off the edges with tissue and then the middle region to lighten its color. Quite satisfied, I washed everything off.

4. I applied some of the omnipotent wax that usually goes for the door sliding to the zip of one of my shorts. It kinda eases a little bit to some extent.