📝 Aug 2025

I went ahead and cleaned the floor of my apartment by myself. At night I broke dad's head bleeding.

Went to the so called Korean village full of KR food of Ampang through the newly opened EKVE. Then randomly went into either one of them and ended up entering the one most crowded. Food was meh maybe cuz we didnt order its BBQ. 

Uhh yesterday I headed out in the morning with dad to deliver the remaining 2. Then ended up coming home half way cuz I no longer could take it. Then damn today I also ended up forced to go out in the morning to handle a delivery that dad couldn’t do alone.

I found out the source of the overflowing spillage in my toilet. No matter how much I adjusted the screw and nut of the floating balls, it was still spilling. It was actually from another spot I didn't figure out how to install back and got dad to put it back in place. After draining all water from flushing and slowly opening the safety valve.

Rs3 Dxp is over.

I have a few artists / songs to take not on hold for I will add to my site soon. Sabrina Carpenter and a song Idk from whom, a song of age, called A Thousand Miles that I had randomly came across recently.

 I fell sick today or rather starting late evening yesterday.

I wonder if I am safe to upload my real photos of my own hair here at my site, knowing uploaded stuff stays forever. These would show my hair and face too before I medically transition if I really take this route.

A new driver came under my company officially starting today after 2 days of tagging along dad. He could work, just quite an avid person of faith. Well... as long as he can work, then fine for now, if that doesn't affect work.

Ughh I am sick now. And I had promised Cheah to yamcha this week. Probably Sat, see if I should be in good health enough by then still got a few days to go.

Skipped... Let's not make this my job. It should be fine to have torn pages in between like an aged diary lmao. No point stressing over it or it would defeat the purpose of having this site.

Finished the 1/2 big bowl of leftover cempedak from yesterday. Ended up not eating dinner afterwards. This time the cempedak was very good at a fair price of RM 9 per kg. Unlike last time dad bought RM 10 per kg at one of his customers, Go Fresh, which sold it overprice and yet of way worse quality. Very satisfying this time around. About 1/3 of the cempedak went to neighbours from dad sharing to some of the more kinder neighbours around.

I learnt that Teng went to Genting Skyworld for the first time. I ain't sure which part of Genting count as Skyworld. Genting now is hella confusing. Sky Avenue, Sky World, Sky blah blah blah. I guess to me there was only 1 true Genting and it has since forever lost.

Long time no use the hair removal cream. Since dad was self inviting himself into my room, I made him watch and learn what and how to use this cream as I did my wrist. Perfect for removing those stubborn stubbles leftover from shaving a few days ago. When asked if he wanted to try, as expected he didn't.

I fell asleep in the middle of dxp training Smithing in Rs3. Darn... wasted 5 mins of dxp!

Lucky no go to Ace today right after stock take. Heard it took unreasonably long time to load up goods. At the end of the end, only 2 one tonne lorries loaded up.

Went for Kuro Ramen as dinner today. Same in the Prima Kajang area. The soup was very concentrated both for its signature ramen and the curry ramen.

Rs3 Double Exp commence! Let's see how far I would go this time around. Hopefully can achieve these Fletching 90+, Smithing 98, Firemaking 96-98, Construction 96-98, Cooking 96-98, Herblore 96-98, Crafting 96-98. Gonna push mainly artisan skills.

After hair got wet from sweat or rain, my hair especially my side strand would curve forward and when being squeezed, I could hear hair being crunchy. Was this good or bad I wonder. A thought came to mind. A google site listing down other google sites I came across from Google Site subreddit might sound nice.

Uhh as of writing, I was waiting in Ace while the sky is getting darker. It sucks to "isi barang" when it was raining. Like yesterday I got my shoes wet in the process.

Went to grab dinner at the same neighbourhood yesterday. Today eat at Zurina Thai, a so called Thai food but unexpected it felt more like Malay food after all. RM 50 + RM 9 for a set of 5 dished 2 rice 2 drinks + a tomyam seafood. It was satisfactory at best but quite decent if as presented Malay foodie anyway. Next time would try the Kuro Ramen nearby, another Jp foodie restaurant hopefully this time it would be better. Cuz this neighbourhood of Prima Kajang is not lacking in stuff to eat at night, but with way better traffic and parking vs BMC.

In the morning while at work at Aeon Big DC, a Malay lady employee there mentioned she likes my nails especially the white color ones 😁.

Getting Javascript code to Google app script code is a pain in the ass but can enjoy totally free deployment at Gas Google server instead of Js that I still haven't come across any free deployment. While Js is way more easier to write and debug than freaking Gas.

Today come home hungry and gobbled up my remaining yogurt. Feeling dreaded to sleep on the floor again but I dragged my ass to shower. Went to eat something rare tonight as dinner. Sushi. Called Nippon Sushi in Prima Kajang. I was sick of going for Sushi in C180 due to adverse traffic condition there. Sushi shop in BMC was not any better same situation. So we went a little further. At first dad was skeptical that there wasn't much crowd so we would be served left over stuff. Indeed when we arrived like a little past 8PM there wasn't any big crowd but as night went on, more and more people came. Food quality wasn't as good as I expected. For eg. the soy sauce could have been better. The ramen soup needed a very lot of improvement where I was quite disappointed with the ramen soup being like usual soup from "chinese qin tang" noodle from any random kopitiam. Salmon slice is ok, but still not bright red enough. Well, the good thing about this place was how easy it was to drive here and park. What a breeze. After dinner, I saw there be some random Thai food restaurants nearby too. I guess next time we could try. Already sick of traffic jam to majority Chinese-gathering area like BMC, Sg Long and C180, way unlike here Prima Kajang.

I tried having my denim jacket that I bought last year in my lorry to wear on sleeves while driving under hot Sun to act as sunscreen. I wonder if it actually work. Saw plenty of motorcycle riders worn it this way or black nylon arm warmer thingy. Aren't they not hot, ahem, I mean, high in temperature.

Damn ass my lorry's battery connection broke again. This time in Ibis Styles Hotel of KLIA. Last week already broken down once and got its connector replaced and then screwed-fixed. I was sick of these batteries for this time it was the 3rd time breaking down. Traded in my old batteries for RM 20 discount each for the new batteries thus 2x RM348 = RM 696 including labour. When asked, he mentioned the gooish thing I felt around the head of my old battery was acid leakage. Stranded for nearly 3 hours there, lucky I could still finish today's 9-outlets delivery. Phew...

Tired after coming home at 5PM. Gobbled up 4x slices of bread with Nutella and went to sleep on the floor til like 7PM on shower. Couldn't sleep on bed to not dirty my bed. Good that couch wasn't available at home or it became my victim. And then dad came home hungry and complaint why I came home early and still showering until then.

Yesterday spoke with sis about being a trans woman in MY and medical transition. I found that she was kinda clueless.

Let me clarify, gov-associated institutes don't refuse a treatment solely because the individual is trans. They refuse giving gender-affirming treatment. I heard of case of trans woman being placed in male ward. If that was me, as long as treatment for eg. dog bitten off leg, gets done then so be it not a big deal. They got individual blinds and curtains no. They would even happily treat a trans woman by putting them in a straightening or rehabilitation camp.

1. Blood clot risk: Particularly with oral estrogen and higher doses, especially in older individuals or those with other risk factors.

2. Changes in liver metabolism: Some oral forms can stress the liver (hence preference for transdermal or injectable forms if risk factors exist).

3. Fertility reduction: Estrogen plus t suppression can lead to permanent infertility if sustained long enough.

4. Bone density loss: This happens only if estrogen is not adequate or testosterone is too suppressed without replacement—usually in cases of poor monitoring. With proper dosing, bone health is maintained.

1. E HRT being carcinogenic. Both E and T do not cause cancer. Though risk profile for breast cancer and prostate cancer can shift. The risk for trans woman getting breast cancer increases while getting prostate cancer decrease. So it is shifting the risk from one to another, not directly causing it. Fair enough.

2. Immune response effect. Nope. Estrogen itself is not a foreign object to the male body. Both male and female have both E and T in the body, only varying in concentration level aka hormonal level. Unlike organ transplant which is introducing a foreign tissue all together, immune response is a myth busted.

3. Cause addition? This is totally wrong.

Nah, I ain't proud to be a trans. I find nothing to be proud of simply by being trans. Same as being Chinese I ain't proud of it nor shame of it. Cuz there are not an achievement from my effort. I just happen to be Chinese, or really happen to be trans.

A very long time ago in early primary school I was proud to be Chinese. Then quickly I grew out of it. I realized after I asked myself what does being Chinese anything to be proud of? Or does being Malay or Indian should have been shameful otherwise? If all being equal, then what is there to be proud of?

The same question if being thrown to traditional Cina Bek like dad, I could tell he was damn sure he gonna be proud of being Chinese. His reason would be "Look at China see how our brethren be so successful?" My argument would be "Yes that is China people's achievement. So what is that to you? Are you part of the effort? Why are you riding the wave of their achievement? Bluntly put, China knows no rat ass of you no? What sort of big shit you think you are?"

I guess it is fair enough to say I am just lucky enough to be Chinese and unlucky enough that my brain got wired wrongly that I turned out not confirming to a role as expected from a male person should have been. If you, who are reading this, and youre proud to be whatever youre, so be it, good for ya, no question, but dun get me to be proud of something simply because I happen to turn out that way instead of my effort. I'd rather be damn ass proud of my blog, my tools made from my code, my nerdy Maths nonsense, cuz I have poured heart and soul into making. Instead of they just happen to be that way.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/ukk5ip/controversial_but_i_actually_hate_being_trans_and/ though the original post had been removed I somehow relate.

• Age 8 or 9, tried sis's light frilly clothes

• Age 10 to 12, countless times tried mum's bra and sis's training bra in shower. Until moved house.

• Age 13 to late teens, occasionally slip on mum bra when alone at home

• Age 14, got teens gynecomastia, happy for a while then disappointed when it was gone

• Age 17, discover self play

• Age 23, tried on sis's bra for whole day in quarantine

• Age 24 to 26, sneaked 1 or 2 of mum's bras into my room, occasionally worn during night sleep every once in a while

• Age 27+ you already know

You know how fvcking shameful it is? And how wrong it is to steal people stuff w/o asking? Screw all this. Is this still sudden impulse? It did come in waves. I was lucky I managed to get distracted but I doubt if I can still get distracted this time around. I wanna cry mannn

You know I have always been not liking to take photographs. Yes they are troublesome thing to pose and smile and wait for the camera capture. But there is one I thing I hate to admit that I don't like how I look in camera. Don't get me wrong, I actually think I got quite decent to moderate look if ignore those random pimples popping outta nowhere. But seeing my own photos with me in there just feel off, except my very old photos where I was still a little kid.

There is a mini 2nd hand bookstore containing darn lots of manga at the same building as my new house unit at 1st floor. But the sad part is all the mangas I glanced through are in Chinese. Kuso!

I had noticed there was something off in my toilet in the previous days. Today I took my time to observe the toilet floor and found that there is precipitate leakage coming out every time I flushed. But I notice when there wasn't feces in there, there still was precipiate coming out. I planned soon I need to reconfigure the amount of water being used in flush in which I had failed to adjust last time. What a pain in the ass to fix one after another for this house. Sigh, there still was green fungi and a month or 2 back about leakage from aunt Kuan's place into my room and sis's room but now somehow it has stopped without my intervention. Phew. I don't even know if the green fungi can be fixable cuz the root cause from water seeping through the wall or floor from upstairs.

Tested ChatGPT's on maths. This bitch was a genius for instantly figured out what to use for my questions.

1. 3 circles of radius 1, 2, 3 all tangent to each other, leaving an empty space in the middle. What is the biggest circle to fit inside this empty space such that it tangents to all 3 of them. Ans = 6 / 23 I went through hell last time doing Cartesian and Pythagoras yet ChatGPT instantly knew to use Descartes's theorem to which I came to know later down the road.

2. The lowest integer for a, b, c and d such that a² + b² + c² = d² where a not equal b not equal c. Also 0 as any of them is not acceptable. There goes the secret relationship between 2, 3, 6 and 7. This had become so memorable during vector's distance thingy in which when I had tried to generate own vector for easy nice number, I would pick these combination.

Just got my ass to finally write down my thoughts on going on e hrt long term wise. 💊 E HRT?

Yesterday at a delivery stop at Hee Lai Ton Jalan Pudu, there was a blunt but quite friendly auntie who was working as goods receiving staff, made my day already. Was asked if I was wearing a wig 😂. Told her no. Then asked if my hair was naturally wavy / curly. Yeah. She said beautiful.

I have been getting teh at my usual kopitiam for breakfast for a while. Yesterday I got their coffee. I'd say both both are decent. Today I tried Cham instead in which means teh + coffee. Maybe just me personally don't find much likings to its taste. Will stick around teh and coffee next time.

I found out that the Thai xiao chao stall in the kopitiam has quite a good Tom Yum Mee Hoon. Way better than its Chinese styled noodles dish. I ordered it again this morning.

Have I mentioned this before. I saw how dad shower his head hair a few days ago. It was an absolute nightmare for hair. His hair was short and less and kinda balding a lot already. He shampoo acrub aggressively all over. Then after rinsing towel wipe aggreasively all over his head. While me when shampooing I got my hands in position, then 5 fingers claw in and out like squeezing a ball. Repeat to every part on the head. When drying, towel pat dry no rub, then air dry. 

For a long time in my shower I been feeling oily at my ear, or rather around the ear, despite washing with shampoo or cetaphil. This time, I tried a different approach. Tilted my head to the side, held my hair in place with the opposite hand, using the same-side hand to get some soap from the soap bar, and scrub gently to my ear. Rinse and super fresh. Woo hoo!

Clevatess anime really live up to its hype for me. This is by far some of the best animes I have watched year to date. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint me along the way. Like what happened to Oshi no Ko which debuted over the top in its beginning then fell off rather quickly.

I got my gsite-toc runnning with fetching a url but it was still in console program not yet a web page app yet. Feeling lazy today.

I love this dark red ribbed knit cropped long sleeve cardigan that I wore as layering for the 1st time out. It suits those shopping occasion on air cond environment but not out in park where sweating was unavoidable.

The level of Eng proficiency even in the written form among my family was a bit concerning. I don't think Aunt Kuan's would be any bad  in any sense. Surprisingly a "Your umbrella put it outside." to me, I did understand what she was trying to convey, that I had left an umbrella outside, but the whole sentence just sounded like a command instead of a reminder.

About Hao, imo his Eng was at a much worse level than what had been mine at age 12 despite having earlier exposure than me. For eg. "Counter-strike ,I choose the location, on?" and "How to do them to take the shotgun?" didn't sound too good to me, still leaving a lot to be desired. I'd say it was Counter Strike that helped me to type quicker, but perhaps it was Runescape that took my Eng to another level.

Finally got my house key for the Pinggiran Putra unit. After a long patience of dilly dallying. And visited it in the evening with dad and uncle Yoo. Also as expected had dinner over.

I found out that dad had called Uncle Raymond on me being LGBT. Not that I was not happy about it. Well, I was still unsure of what to feel about it. First, I was glad he was concerned of me asking for help from his friend on how to "fix" me. On the other hand, I felt why in the hell you were talking behind my back without me knowing first hand.

I screwed up I slept with handphone next to head last night and now today I woke up unrefreshed.

Why in the hell I got stomach ache and diarrhea from eating my own cut watermelon that I bought. I couldn't believe this. I got 2 buns from Mamma Bunz during lunch only.

Mamma Bunz looks nearly identical to Roti Boy and its taste still ok too! The existence of this brand name was new to me.

Lorry broke down again from the screwed battery head that dad fixed a few days ago. Lucky I was at a parking in McD Forest Height at Seremban there instead of some random out of no where's street. I couldn't fix unlike last time forcefully screwing any random metal into the connection gap to boost connection. Alas I called a foreman after 2 failed attempts of other foreman.

My codes project for gsite-toc had some progress today. But I realized a new problem. On how to differentiate between a heading and a sub heading. I found that for title, its corresponding html was h1, heading was h2, sub heading was h3, small text was likely to be h4 I aint sure. I would have to rework on my code to make it work, really work.

Uhh today while putting on my sport bra after shower while my hair was still damp, it pulled on some of my back hair. Fk! Hopefully nothing much damage done to my hair. Also, I stopped applying conditioners for the 2nd day today. Cuz I felt my hair still quite soft after a whole day outside. Though I had applied hair serum yesterday before heading out, but not today's morning.